HOMETOWN AND VISIT WITH SISTER

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Among the gifts I brought, was a birthday present for S's sister. As you recall, she always backed our adoption selflessly and without reservation. Even when this adoption was denied during our first trip, on the grounds we could not separate S and his sister (who were both in the orphanage system at that time), she stated she did not have the means to care for S when she got out anyway, and that we should take him. Then after she turned 18 (two weeks ago, during our second trip) and was not considered "in the orphanage system" anymore, she again testified in court on our behalf, against her mother, that S was better off with us. I was astonished by her poise, conviction and ethics, especially given her home situation and that she has no family (except S). Scott and I wanted to give her a birthday gift, but were unable to during the last trip. So today S and I ventured to her home. She's out of the orphanage now but still is under the care of a "trade school" for older orphans, located in the town where S was born.

S and his beautiful sister after our court hearing during our last trip. In front of the courthouse.

After driving for about 50 minutes through agricultural areas, we arrived in a small, bleak town. I asked Lana what the major industry was here; was it mining as is common in this region? Not mining, but she didn't know what it was. We passed a huge old grainery that was closed down. Maybe this was a wheat harvesting area in its heyday? We drove through the "downtown" with a few small shops and restaurants and I noticed the open air market which was a series of metal sheds facing eachother along the side of the main road. S seemed uninterested. Someday I'm sure he'll want to see pictures though.



This town's open-air market.



City workers sweep away winter's dirt.

 Our driver had to ask directions twice, but we finally found the trade school. We were led inside by Lana and up a large staircase. The walls were adorned with murals that reminded me of the 1940-Diego Rivera-style-stern-proletariat look of proud faces sporting chiseled jaws and work caps. Upstairs, we were warmly greeted by the sister and her social worker. I have grown to love her social worker! He's a gregarious, friendly guy in his 50's with salt and pepper hair who genuinely cares about the kids he oversees. He's always making jokes, quizzing me about American politics, our taxation system or sharing insightful facts about the Ukraine I need to know for S's sake. He always wears the same tall, Russian fur hat and black overcoat each time I've seen him. Today was no different. He strides in and gives me a hardy, sincere handshake. He was followed by S's sister who presented a gift bag to me and S! This kid has no money for gifts! What is she doing? We exchanged hugs and S and his sister sat down next to eachother, holding hands. In my gift bag was a tall vase and S received a stuffed bear and bon voyage card. There were two other women in the room, one of whom was the sister's teacher. The teacher was beaming when she talked about the sister,praising her exemplary study habits. She told us she has finsihed a 2-year trade school that taught painting/wall paper/interior design (from what I understood). I asked again, if she is interested in ever attending University. The answer was no, that she now wanted to be a dentist. "Wow," I thought to myself. No, uh, I misunderstood. She is going into a program where she makes teeth, like the real-looking type they use for crowns. I tell them that is lucrative business in the U.S., based on what my dentist charges!





In front of trade school.

 

Sister, her social worker and S.

The staff was obviously very pleased to have me here. Lana translated that it's quite an anomoly having an American here. Adoptive parents usually never visit the trade schools. They told me it's also unusual for Americans to adopt from S's particular orphanage. It's usually Italians who tend to adopt from this orphanage, they said. I told them I'm very pleased to be here and am impressed at how beautiful their school is on the inside (it is very impressive given the look of the rest of the town). They said thanks but tell me that they have suffered hard economic times and are losing teachers and staff since pay for these positions is not competitive.

I handed a torquoise box to the sister and motioned for her to unwrap it. This was the first of three gifts to her. Inside was a "friendship ring" comprised of two separate silver rings with intertwined hearts. One of them is engraved with the following:
"Friends are family we chose for ourselves."

Natalia, my AWESOME Russian coach and S's soon-to-be English teacher, translated the saying into Russian and wrote it on the small card the rings were attached to. After I had sister read it, I took the rings off the card, put one on, then handed the other to her. I said, "Now you HAVE to come visit since the rings need to be back together again!" She smiled and giggled! I hope she gets the message she CAN still have a family someday. She is one of the most deserving people I know.

Our second gift was a small photo book. Since S's sister is kind of shy, I made a photo album for her, depicting our home, lifestyle, pictures of what we do for recreation, etc., with the hope of making her feel more comfortable about coming to visit us. She was very interested when I showed her the picture of our guest room, where she will stay if she comes. Everyone was extremely interested in seeing the pictures and insisted we pass it around and explain each picture.

Lana then announced the third gift; Scott and I would like to buy S's sister a computer, to help her in school and so that she and S can Skype and email each other. Everyone in the room was flabergasted! Lana translated that the director himself does not even have a laptop. Nobody can afford things like that here! This is huge! Again, I feltl a little embarrasssed but know it's the right thing to do for this young girl. Having a computer could be a huge advantage in a situation like hers. If she DOES decide to go to University someday, she absolutely needs one.

Before we left for the computer store, I was given a quick tour of the school and we took some pictures. One of the staff handed S a big box of Ukrainian chocolates and again, bid me congratulations on our adoption! Then we were off!

We had to drive about 30 minutes to a store in a mini-mall that carried computers. After carefully discussing the merits of different brands, speed, memory, and chip manufacturer, we all finally decided on an Acer laptop. I could finally see the excitement building on this girl's face! She had been so shy in the past with me, I'm happy she was finally becoming more comfortable. We asked sister to pick out a case and then had to go to another store to buy a modem and some other attachments for the internet. We were told by her social worker that there is someone locally who will help her hook everything up and give her a quick lesson on the computer and Skyping. She'll be up and running by next week and will have free internet access at the trade school. YAY!! I wish Scott had been here for this moment. It was spectacular! (plus it's his hard-earned money!)