GOT’CHA DAY!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Wow, this trip came about fast! I left last weekend and I arrived safely in Kyiv after a 14 hour flight. I always feel like I’m at the center of an espionage novel on these trips:

Upon arrival in Kyiv, I was picked up by a driver who tells me “No speak” and hands me a cell phone. I hear my agency contact reciting these instructions; “Take the 7 pm overnight train to Dontetsk. You will be met and taken to an apartment downtown where you will receive more instructions.”  Will do.  I’m hustled through a crowded train station that looks like a miniature version of Grand Central. I exchange some dollars for Grivna (Ukrainian currency), pay the driver for my ticket and barely make the train. I collapse into the seat, happy I can now sleep for 12 hours!

Upon arrival in Donetsk the next morning, I’m greeted by a familiar and friendly face. It’s our usual driver in Donetsk! I’m taken to an apartment where I meet another friend, Lana, the agency contact who helped us during our last trip.

Lana repeats information I already know; “S”’s mother has been visiting the orphanage and her latest visit was yesterday. She was let in once to see S that I know of but was refused the other time(s). I ask, “Is she visiting to say goodbye or to cause trouble?”  “To cause trouble” is the answer. The plan therefore, is to get our paperwork done ASAP this morning, then grab little “S” and be gone before more agony befalls all parties involved. The outcome I pray for is that someday, mom will change and little “S” can meet her as a new person. Maybe this event will be the catalyst. Scott and I have decided when he’s 18 he’ll be offered the option of meeting her, but unfortunately no sooner.

We’re off and running by 8 AM. Today I learned the major paperwork really begins AFTER the court hearing. First we drove to the town “S”’s orphanage is in to receive the court decree awarding S to us. At this point a new birth certificate is issued, naming Scott and I as parents and changing S’s name. There was a glitch in this part of the paperwork but it only caused an iota of panic since Lana deftly took care of the problem before it delayed us much. Collecting all the paperwork, S’ orphanage file, getting everything notarized, copied, etc. took about 6 hours. Some of these items are actually sewn together with thread over which a stamp and an official seal is placed, proving that the document is an original.  We then went and picked up the Inspector who handled our case from the local Adoption Commission and FINALLY we were ready to go to the orphanage!!   

I was excited but also nervous as we drove up. After our delays, I really didn’t believe this day was finally here. Also, I admit I was a bit paranoid mom may be lurking around.  I clammered through the front doors, dragging my four large gift bags of presents for the orphanage staff as well as a large bag of goodies for the kids in S’ wing. I had to bring 3 suitcases this time to carry everything! (I’m sure my driver thinks I’m a high-maintenance American Princess!). As I entered the administration office I was greeted by smiling, familiar faces and my stress melted away. The warmth exuded from everybody at this orphanage was remarkable. You could feel it as you entered the room. I was asked to sign more official documents in the presence of the orphanage Assistant Directors, then it was time! The little man came walking through the door of the Asst. Director’s office wearing a big smile and I gave him a HUGE hug! I told him how much we missed him, and how much we love him. I had Lana explain to him why we never came back to say goodbye after our last trip (since our court hearing went so long, we could not say goodbye to him and almost missed our train). I made sure he understood it would NEVER happen again! Mama & Papa would NEVER leave his side! Ever.

I could tell he was rarin’ to get out of dodge! Of course all the orphanage personnel wanted to give him a big hug and wish him well. They asked that we please send pictures.

We were then led into a room where I was to change his clothes. They don’t want the kids to leave with any clothes (even underwear and socks - as these are much needed items here). S quickly put on the clothes I brought for him and looked like a real gentleman in his khakis and sweater with rugby shirt underneath! I forgot the shoes though, and apologized profusely. They let me take his shoes so I promised I will send them some shoes. (OK all of you reading this…”Welcome S” brunch at our place in a few weeks and cost of entry is a pair of kids shoes!)  After changing the clothes, I said “Do you want to say goodbye to your friends?” S looked at me like “Mom, do I HAVE TO?” I could tell he just wanted to LEAVE at this point, but we made the pilgrimage over to his building. There we found the usual cast of characters, all of which I would easily adopt if Scott would let me……..even Pasha who will one day grow up to be a used car salesman! The kids went crazy as usual, digging into my bag trying to see what I brought for them. I know S was frustrated. He thought the Sidewalk Chalk and Twister game I brought for the kids belonged to him. He  knew he would finally have something of his own in life and that life began NOW. He tried to grab back the pieces of Sidewalk Chalk the kids were taking. I assured him we have all of this and more at home and it ALL will belong to him. He was OK after that but you can tell by the pictures, he just wanted to leave.  

Bunny ears in the $1 bin at Target were a big hit!



Sitting on S's bed.



Pasha in front (of course!!)



S's teacher, Inna, who taught him French & English.

Lastly, I asked, “Does he have anything to take?”

“Nyet.” Answered one of the caretakers. Just then one of his friends came running up with this stuffed teddy bear adorned with zebra stripes. When you squeeze the hand it says something in Russian. S clutched it tightly to his chest.

“He can take that,” lovingly said one of the caregivers. I could tell it meant a lot to him, to have at least something secure to hold on to as he boldly ventured out into the big world. After a few more pictures, we left. As we walked away from the building one last time, I looked up and saw all his bunkmates waving out his old window. This was the saddest part for me. What would happen to these adorable kids?   

See upper left window.

We got in the car and it rumbled out of the forever empty parking lot, through the large, green iron gates of the orphanage. Some of the older boys were (control) burning weeds along the sides of the road that runs through an orchard next to the orphanage, before it hits the main highway. They waved to us. S did not wave back but just kept his eyes on the road ahead. I think he knew a wonderful adventure awaits him!

For the next 30 minutes, we drove through fallow wheat fields that go on as far as the eye can see until they touch the drab, gray horizon. I sat close to S in the back seat with my arm around him, somewhat scared since there are no seat belts in these small cars here. Plus these drivers LOVE passing large trucks on these two lane roads. I transliterated portions of a “Highlights” magazine and S enjoyed looking at it and solved a few of its puzzles.

Hey Sasha, recognize your jacket??

 Finally we reached the outskirts of Donetsk with it’s stores, people and noisy trollys. S seemed happy and alive! He would point out billboards to me and smile. He also commented on the number of pigeons here. I told everyone in the car we’ll go feed them McDonalds later. Their retort: “They’ll never eat that stuff! Feed them some good Ukrainian bread instead.” Ha! They’re right!

Our next stop was a small photo studio where S sat obediently for his passport photo. Then it was off to the passport office where we did more paperwork. I let S play with the I-pod and he remembered the password from our last visit. Our last stop was the grocery store so I could stock up while we wait for the passport (we expect to wait one week). I bought a bottle of champagne to celebrate since Lana agreed to have a glass with me. I’m so happy I have someone to celebrate with! Too bad Scott could not attend this trip – it’s the big payoff for all the hard work he’s done on this adoption.

Back at the flat, it was already 7:30. We were beat so we decided to go out for dinner. Lana knew of a Russian-Ukrainian restaurant close by so we briskly walked over and sat down.  Here is where I began to learn of S’s eating habits. He prefers to drink Russian black tea (called “chai”) with dinner (and breakfast). We ordered some for him, but it was served with these curious, white cubes. What could they be? S had never seen them before! I picked one up and motioned for him to lick it. Once he did, it was all over. Plop, plop, plop. Three sugar cubes immediately proceeded to go into his tea! This kid loves sugar maybe more than Gavin (is that possible?!).  I need to begin calcium-loading this child so we may need to wean him off the tea a bit once we get home! At this point in his development, Vitamin D milk will benefit him more than tea, but that’s what’s common here.

S wolfed down his food as usual while Lana and I celebrated with a glass of red wine from the Crimean region of Ukraine. It was good! We both agreed we’d pass out if we even had a sip of the champagne so I’ll save it for later!!

After dinner we  let S order his own celebratory dessert – he wanted a “torte” (cake, chocolate of course. I KNEW there was a genetic link between me and this kid!). We all clicked our glasses as Lana toasted me and I toasted her back. Then S toasted to something - we really didn’t understand what – but it didn’t matter. He was finally with his family!

Got’cha Day ended well! We intend to celebrate this day (the day we got him) for the next few years, hopefully longer if S wants to!



Our precious S going to bed with new (bunny) and old (zebra) stuffed animals.