Our Ukrainian Adoption 2010: BONDING CONTINUES

SAT/SUN 27 & 28 NOVEMBER, 2010

We’ve now visited “S” three times (2 hours each) and believe we’re well on our way to bonding with him. Our drive to the orphanage from Donetsk is pretty when the sun is out and takes about 30-45 mins, each way. The primary industries in this area are mining, steel mills and farming (I believe the peaks in the distance in this picture are mine tailings). The soil is very fertile, almost black in color, giving Ukraine its moniker as the “bread basket of Europe.”

On the second day, the orphanage director lead us into a play room in “S” ’s dormitory . First we entered an area where there were lots of other children and were met with multiple voices yelling “ciao!” I guess they thought we were Italian, since many Italian families adopt from Ukraine. I said “ciao” back then “privet” (“hi” in Russian) then “Hello. American” (pointing to myself) . They all seemed to understand and some then said “hello”.

“S” continues to amaze us with his athletic prowess, technophilia and overall intelligence. He is a great soccer player and constantly wants to kick around an inflatable globe we brought with us. He out-dribbles Gavin (don’t tell him I said this) and Scott has been the recipient of many hard shots to the head. Even though he’s small, he’ll be the secret weapon of any soccer team with his ability to get around people with his fancy footwork. Today we brought balloons and played keep away from Gavin. I’m so glad we had some fun kid’s games loaded on the I-Pod (thank you Justin!!). “S” just can’t get enough of them. Scott and I were flabbergasted when he was able to do the rollercoaster game PERFECT the first time (I can’t even do it) and reached level 2 in BrickBraker in about 5 minutes. He loves the Ninja Fruit game the most and Angry Birds second. He’s also an astute photographer! He asks for Scott’s phone or our Canon SLR camera to take pictures. We taught him how to focus the lens and look at previous shots. He tried running off with our camera and taking shots of his friends in the other room (and was able to take a quick shot of another cute little boy before we could catch him). Today we were able to see the room where he sleeps along with 7 other kids. Below is a picture of his shelf in a small cabinet next to his bed. In his cabinet are all his worldly possessions; toothbrush, toothpaste, soap and one small stuffed animal that he promptly removed and proceeded to kick around the room like a soccer ball. There are no possessions at the orphanage, as it would make caring for all these kids too difficult. It’s ironic they are given nothing but have so much inside to give.

Another thing we did today was to show him the food flash cards I brought and ask him if he likes the food shown, as we receited each word in Russian. Gavin marked each card he liked with a star so we can buy appropriate food for him when he gets home. He told us he loves fruit, cereal, and bread but would furrow his brow at cards of food he’s never seen before (like eggplant). He picks up on things extremely fast – it blows me away since we have a language barrier. The Google Translator comes in VERY handy when we are looking for a word we can’t find on our “Mommy Russian” handouts. Aside from kicking the soccer ball, he also has the ability to concentrate and focus when required; yesterday he did a connect-the-dots but started at 28 and counted backwards to 1. He then went forward from 28 to 100!! HE taught us all the numbers since we can only reliably count to 3 in Russian! We always bring him some candy and he’s now looking for it in my bag each time we arrive. The first day we opened a pack of Starbursts and he filled his pocket with ½ the pack right away. This is hording behavior so common in orphanages. I want to show him he doesn’t need to do this around us, that there will always be enough; on the other hand I don’t want to load him up with sugar! Speaking of sugar, many his teeth are brown – luckily we have great dental insurance since he has about a $10K mouth! Needless to say we are already in love with this kid and will do whatever it takes to bring him home where he belongs. Tomorrow we will be dealing with more paperwork and beginning to surmount a few hurdles that are still in our way. Every day we leave the orphanage energized, but missing him. I’m always sure to say “Until tomorrow” when we leave so he knows we’re coming back.

Our agency handlers are taking good care of us here in Donetsk. Dmytro gave us a short tour of the city showing us where a few restaurants, grocery stores and coffee shops were, then left for a few days to work on paperwork back in Kyiv. We go see “S” from 10 am -12 pm each day. We’re back around 12:45, and then usually go out for lunch. We love wandering around this smaller city where there are NO tourists (especially Americans who we usually try to avoid when abroad). Dmytro told us a funny story a few days ago about dumb Americans. He prefaced it by saying he would have never believed it had it not actually happened to him. One day he was driving some people around Donetsk and they passed the statue below.

One of the Americans asked, “Who is that statue of?” He replied, “Lenin”. The American stated, “John Lenin?” How embarrassing! Did this person sleep through their history and economics classes in high school?!?!

We went to see Harry Potter last night, completely dubbed in Russian. I wanted Gavin to experience what “S” will be feeling once we got him home……being immersed in a language that is foreign. I was surprised how well I could follow the movie (the ending was disappointing but I guess expected).

Last night we finally celebrated Thanksgiving, three days late. I brought Stove Top Stuffing, turkey gravy and ingredients for a pumpkin pie with me, anticipating this. Unfortunately, our oven doesn’t work so I couldn’t make the pie. Turkey is not usually consumed in Ukraine and the woman in the grocery store told me buying turkey is “no good”. So we had ham and it was great (Ukrainians eat a ton of pork)! We set up one of the computers on the table and played an electronic Thanksgiving card Gigi sent me (thanks Gigi!!!!) to set the mood.